blessed.

close your eyes.

I'm so overwhelmed right now and my emotions are running wild. Perhaps it's sleep deprivation, maybe something else. I'm so confused on everything I'm feeling at the moment.

confession number five.

it's only a matter of time.

Well, as of right now, both my mom and sister are in or on the way to Africa. I hate that I have to spend so much time apart from my family the summer before I go off to college. I'm so happy for both of them and proud of what they're doing, but it saddens me to think I could be spending time with them. Oh well, there's still time.

need to catch my breath.

I have a tendency to take weeks where I have absolutely nothing to do, then make so many plans that I regret it in the end. Well, I'm having one of those weeks.

so go on, go on and break my heart...

...I'll be okay.

i'm feeling like a new born child every time i get a chance to see you smile.

How old were you when you had your first relationship?

My very first relationship, fifth grade. My first real relationship, sophomore year of high school.

Are you taken/single?
Single.

How old were you when you had your first kiss?
Seventeen.

Do you like anyone right now?
No, I don't.

Ever had your heartbroken?
Yes.

Miss anyone right now?
Very much.

Who was the last person you sent a text to?
Kelsey.

Last person to text you?
Vech.

Last person you saw?
Samantha.

What was the last thing you said to someone?
"I want to see that!"

Who do you trust the most in your life?
My parents.

Who do you love most?
I love a lot of people.

Ever been in love?
No.

Who has hurt you the most?
I won't say.

Has a tragedy ever happened in your life?
Yes.

Are you happy?
I'm content.

How many good friends do you have?
I have about five or six really good friends.

Are there some songs you can't listen to because they remind you of someone?
I have songs that remind me of people, but that doesn't mean I can't listen to them.

Have you ever cheated on a partner?
No.

Ever been cheated on?
Mhm.

Ever been told someone loved you?
Yes.

Ever told someone you loved them and meant it?
Yes.

Not meant it?
Guilty.

Ever had your heart broken?
Yes, I have.

Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now?
Eh.

What is your idea of true love?
Loving a person despite their flaws.

When they slip, do you think you can let go of the small stuff?
Of course. Everybody makes mistakes.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
No.

Why or why not?
Often times people mistake lust for love.

Do you believe that it is best to have a friendship first then love?
Definitely.

as many times as i blink i'll think of you tonight.

just saying.

It aggravates me to no extent when people play the victim just to get attention and sympathy from others.

confession number four.

pain is inevitable. suffering is optional.

I ran across a great quote this morning - "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." I have gone through so much in my life, more than most people probably know and more than I feel comfortable sharing. I have handled my pain in many different ways, sometimes in ways that I truly regret. At times, I felt like there was nothing left for me and other times I just put my hope and trust in God, knowing that I was too weak and vulnerable to handle it all on my own. This quote has really made me think. Yes, life will always be full of trying situations, some that will test our limits even, but how we choose to handle them is what really counts. We can choose to give up and believe there is nothing we can do. Or we can choose not to suffer and do something about it.

confession number three.

I have still yet to find the right guy who can prove to me they're not all the same.

give me hope.

I AM A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE!

mood.

believe it or not.

I graduate today. Holy cow, I'm graduating today. I feel exactly like I did as a child anticipating Christmas morning. Except this time, I think it may be something better that I'm experiencing -four long years of hard work paid off and most of all, a new beginning. I cannot even believe the things I have accomplished over these last four years, and to think of what God has in store for me when I get to college! I'm so excited.

make art, not war.

photography is love.

then again, what's new.

Some people irk me. That's all I have to say about that.

there was another time in my life.

I never quite know the right words to say. Maybe one day I'll get it right.

the autumn breeze wrapped us in blankets as we held our breath and closed our eyes.

I love the rain. Especially summer rain - the kind of rain that washes away all the heat and humidity. I think I'll go get in bed with a good book, listen to the rain, and wait until I fall asleep.

confession number two.

One day I will have a bed like this.

confession number one.

One of my biggest regrets is quitting ballet.

i'm out of clever things to say.

I'm tired of trying to keep certain people around, especially when my efforts are not reciprocated. I've slowly grown apart from several of my old friends this year because they've finally found the circle of friends that works for them. It makes me sad to think that I'll probably never see some of these people again once college starts because of the growing distance. I've put in so much effort trying to stay connected with certain people, but they don't seem to feel the same way. It's frustrating when all your efforts just seem in vain. From now on, the only friends I want in my life are the ones that show me they want me in theirs.

summertime.

we all thought it would last forever, the days of our youth and the weather.

"Summer afternoon - summer afternoon, to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language."

- Henry James

For the first time in a very long while, I'm able to breathe. I am finally done with school, but better yet, I am finally done with high school. Summer is finally here. This year has been so crazy but has gone by surprisingly fast. Especially these last few months. I'm done but it still has yet to hit me. Once graduation is over, I know it will finally dawn on me that it's finally over.

I'm so excited about this summer. I have so many exciting things planned and I cannot wait to get started with it all. I'm going on a roadtrip with my best friend and am volunteering for an African Children's choir.

But for now, I think I shall relax and catch up on some much needed sleep.

mood.

I'm finally done!

gravity.

lately i've been feeling like i am stuck with my roots in the ground, but i am ready to move on.

My life has been so chaotic lately, from finishing up school to trying to find a summer job. I'm moving so fast but I've hardly had any time to stop and catch my breath. I only have two more days of school, but those two days seem like an eternity to me. Let's hope I make it out alive.

chorus.

I'm going to miss this so much.

reminiscence.

FRESHMAN YEAR:

What school did you go to?
Jordan High School.

What were your school colors?
Red, white, and blue.

Did you ever ditch?
No.

Who were your best friends?
My closest friends from middle school and Samantha.

What elective classes did you take?
Chorus.

Who was your favorite teacher?
Mr. Mercer.

Did you pass all of your classes?
I did indeed.

How did you get to/from school?
My sisters drove me.

Did you drink/smoke?
No.

Did you go to homecoming?
It was rained out.

Did you go to prom?
No.

Did you play any sports?
Cross Country.

Were you involved in any clubs?
Key Club and a cappella.

SOPHMORE YEAR:

Did you go to sporting events?
Mostly football games.

Ever get detention?
No.

Did you play sports?
I played tennis outside of school.

Who did you date?
Will.

What was your least favorite class?
French.

Did you hate anyone?
No.

Did you have the same friends as freshman year?
Pretty much.

Go to any dances?
No.

JUNIOR YEAR:

Did you wish you could change schools?
Many times.

How did you spend your birthday that year?
My friends put together a surprise party for me. I love my friends.

Where were all the parties?
Who knows.

Ever get suspended?
No.

How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?
Two.

Who were they?
Will and Luke.

Do any drugs during school?
I don't do drugs, thanks.

Did you play sports?
Nope.

Did you go to homecoming or prom?
Both.

If so, who were your dates?
I went with my friends.

SENIOR YEAR:

Did you change schools?
No.

Was it the best year of high school?
In some respects, yes.

Was it stressful?
At times.

Did you get in trouble a lot?
No.

Did you keep your same friends all through high school?
Some of them.

Were you involved with any clubs/sports?
National Honors Society, French Honors Society, Music Honors Society, A cappella, and Adopt a Grandparent Club.

Did you fail any classes?
Almost, ha.

Where did you take your senior pictures?
Different places.

What teacher really helped you the most?
Mr. Turner, even though technically he's wasn't a teacher.

Did you play any sports?
Nope.

How did you get to/from school?
I drove myself.

Did you drink/smoke?
I don't do either of those.

Did you go to homecoming?
Yes.

Did you go to prom?
Yep.

If so, who were your dates?
David.

because you're worth a lover's charm.